Dreams
I'm with Elaine on Seinfeld that there's nothing more boring than hearing about other people's dreams. But since I rarely have any that are noteworthy, it's big news for J.
The dream was this: I was on a date with someone, and some frat guy looking douchebag mentions how he really likes her show, and blah blah blah. And I realized that this whole time I had been on a date with Portia de Rossi and it hadn't occurred to me. And then the alarm clock went off, and that was the end of that.
I guess if there's a moral to that story it's that Elaine was right. Other people's dreams are boring. I found that story boring. I can only imagine what you people thought.
Boring but in a bizarre way. Isn't Portia de Rossi a lesbo? I thought I'd heard that somewhere. If that's true, then the intruiging thing is that you thought you were on a date with her, but maybe she was just conning you for a free meal. That would seem to fit with the rest of your dating history.
You are correct! She is a gay. And that does, in fact, make the dream that much weirder and that much more depressing. Apparently not only did I not realize she was a famous celebrity, I didn't realize she partook of the love that dare not speak its name.