Homework

Man, this has been a rough couple of days. I had the Cub staying at the house full-time since Sunday. Now if he were going to free public school, this wouldn't be much of a problem. But instead, he's going to overpriced Catholic school, and they assign something like three hours of homework a night. And, no, that isn't my usual hyperbole.

So here's a conversation we've had about 30 times.

FADE IN

INT. J's LIVING ROOM NIGHT

J walks in the room and sees CUB on the couch staring off into space.

J: What are you doing?

CUB: Nothing.

J: Well, did you finish your math homework?

CUB: No.

J: Why not?

Cub shrugs

J: Well, what have you been doing?

Cub shrugs

J: Well, get to work!

Now here's where it gets syrupy and Hallmark card-y. If you had a big breakfast and a weak stomach you might want to skip the rest.

Zoom in on J's face as he suddenly has a thought.

FOCUS OUT:

FOCUS IN:

INT. GENERIC 80'S STYLE LIVING ROOM NIGHT

12 YEAR OLD J is sitting on a brown tweed couch. He has big poofy hair and he's wearing an Izod shirt. He is staring off in the distance. R.E.M.'s classic Document is playing softly in the background.

J'S MOM walks in

J'S MOM: What are you doing?

12 YEAR OLD J: Nothing.

J'S MOM: Well, did you finish your math homework?

12 YEAR OLD J: No.

J'S MOM: Why not?

12 YEAR OLD J shrugs

J'S MOM: Well, what have you been doing?

12 YEAR OLD J shrugs

J'S MOM: Well, get to work!

Elton John's "Circle of Life" starts playing, as we

FADE OUT:

FIN

And that's my Hallmark card moment. The realization that, as terrible a student as I was, the only reason I managed to do the bare minimum I did was because of the folks whipping my ass like a rented mule. And it's hard work. It's especially hard when you add it to all the other things I had going on. Things like scrubbing out the refrigerator, which, due to a mishap involving spoiled milk, needed scrubbing something awful.