More Brushes

I was at a bar in Addison, TX. It was one of those generic, soulless places that seems to infest that burg, the kind packed to the rafters with what appears to be the results of a J. Crew-funded cloning experiment. This was over OU/Texas weekend.

I was watching That Sport That's Now Dead to Me off in one corner of this place, when the phone rang. I checked the caller ID, it was my friend Rachael in Memphis.

As I picked up the phone to answer it, I noted that the background noise was deafening with the drunk Addison types were all trying to shout each other down.

So a conversation was out of the question. But then, I didn't fully appreciate this until I'd hit the talk button.

"Hello!" I shouted.

"J! I blah blah blah," whatever else she was saying drowned out completely.

I glaced at the quarter mile long phalanx of douchebags in striped shirts between me and the closest exit, where there was a band playing (poorly). It'd take me 10 minutes to get to where I could hear anything. So, I decided to pull the plug.

"I'm at a bar in Addison, Texas, and I can't hear anything! Talk to you later! Bye!" and then I hung up.

It wasn't until the next Monday that I heard what had happened right before and right after that conversation.

Rachael is a film student at U. of Memphis. They just finished filming a movie, Black Snake Moan in Memphis, and the University film school worked out a deal for some students to intern, one of whom was Rachael.

So Rachael is standing next to Justin Timberlake, making small talk in the ten minutes of standing around before he has to go on stage. Recalling my story about my near-brush with Cedric the Entertainer, she mentions that a friend of hers is a big fan. Anyway, he volunteers to actually sing a song. To me. No doubt the greatness that is "Rock Your Body".

So Rachael calls me up and I answer. I couldn't hear that she was saying "J! I'm going to give the phone to someone!"

And while Rachael is handing the phone to Mr. Timberlake, I give my exposition about being in Addison and unable to hear and then hang up right as the phone gets to Justin Timberlake's ear.

He handed the phone back to her, saying, "I don't think it's working." She said, "Oh, shit, it looks like he hung up." To which he said, matter of factly, "What a dick. Well, it's about time I went on." And that was the end of that.

Now, I feel terrible for Rachael, who was very kind to have thought of me, and I managed to cause terrible embarrassment for her. On the other hand, as far as I'm concerned, I don't know how much better this could have worked out. I'd much rather be The Guy Who Hung Up on Justin Timberlake than The Guy Who Was Serenaded by Justin Timerlake. But I'm too polite for my own good, so the only way that was going to happen would be exactly like it happened there.

And, bonus, he called me a dick! How awesome is that?

I think this qualifies as a near-brush with near-greatness. The near-brush part is obvious. But is he great, or near-great?

Well, he's clearly far from talentless. Is he a genius along the lines of Prince or David Bowie? Hell no.

But he's come out with some good songs. Unlike one of his erstwhile bandmates, he didn't appear in Rent, for which he gets my eternal gratitude. And he was kind enough to expose for the world one of Janet Jackson's hubcap-festooned boobies. Despite the FCC going mad with power after that, he ought to get at least near-greatness status for that.

Verdict: Near-brush with near-greatness.

P.S. If you're curious why I haven't shared this story until now, the interns weren't supposed to be fraternizing with the cast. While this rule was apparently disregarded all the time, it's still against the rules, and Rachael made me promise not to tell anyone about this while they were still filming, just in case one of you, my readers, (or should I say, "you, my reader") has a big mouth and word of the incident spread.

Obviously a silly concern, but in any case, they're done filming now.

Update: I finally got around to changing the poll, to see how you all would react in my position.

Feel free to leave a comment as well.